I was returning from the gym last night, sitting at Bishops Stortford station, when from across the line, I heard a load of chavs shouting and swearing and generally acting like they had a collective IQ of 10. I sat on the bench quietly, thinking to myself about this concept of the chav. I am sure in my day, when I was a kid (1978-1988) we didn’t have this issue. Sure, there have always been kids that hang about and maybe cause trouble, but not like they do today.

It then got me on to thinking, what is the deal with the way chavs dress and behave. If you take the first, their attire: usually Addidas/Nike track suit bottoms, a hooded top, white trainers and a baseball cap, all of which probably purchased from JJB Sports. Anyway I want to know who pioneered such a style, who was the first chav to make these vermin think that dressing in such getup is deemed cool? It has almost become a uniform these days, you can spot the little f*ckers from a mile off. Then you have their music, they have no sense of taste at all, it has to be R’n'B or Urban, or some other shit with no sentiment, history or style. Even better they like to blast this shit out of their mobile phones on busy morning commuter trains.
Then you come to their behaviour, usually characterised by not being able to string a sentence of more than 5 words together at a time, without inserting a vulger term, and of which all non-vulgar terms are less than 1 syllable in length. I am not saying I am a poet, but I digress.

Anyway it seems as though chavs seem to be brought together by this foul code of ethics, whereby little Gaz hangs with Trev, Tone and Egg around a lampost, fags in hand, spitting on the floor and snarling at anyone who passes them. When they get bored they either vandalise something or go to the car park and admire their mate’s tarted up 1984 Ford Fiesta with “wicked soundsystem mate”. When that finishes they head home to their 14 yr old, pregnant girlfriend in their shitty little council house.

You have got to think, how on earth did all these kids get moulded into these ghastly monsters. Is it the fault of the government (lack of education etc.), the parents, society in general? And what the hell is going to happen to the UK when all these chavs come of age and are “grown up”?

Solution: following Blunkets thoughts on the machine gun the other day, round them all up and dispose of them in a quick fashion to enable the rest of us to live better lives. Something HAS to be done, the longer people sit back and take this bollocks, the worse it will get. Time to take action, I propose we have a national anti-chav day…

And there I leave you to your thoughts.

On a brighter note, going to see The Cooper Temple Clause tonight up at Koko in Camden, should be a fun night, ok back to the code…